So God Made a Mother

There’s so much emotion that comes with motherhood, and so many hats are worn.  It’s a status that’s really detailed to even describe.  Have you ever imagined what it would be like to write what all a mother does, on your resume?  After an exhausted day, the roller coaster of emotions and one mom brain later, I sat down to write this post of the thoughts I had.  Perhaps this would have been appropriate for Mother’s Day, but then I thought, “why wait”.

Motherhood is the absolute hardest job I have ever had, because it’s a job that’s created from deep within you.  You’ll wear your heart on your sleeve.  When I made the tough decision to be a “stay work at home mom” throughout the years I have gone back and forth to wanting to just call it quits and go back to a “paying job”, thinking I couldn’t take it one more day, or thought that I just wasn’t cut out for it.  Then I realized, that might even be harder!

Some days, just breaking down and crying in the floor is what got me through it all. It was a harder change than I ever thought it would be.  The lack of sleep, not knowing why the baby is crying, having the energy to take care of your other children, then manage a household on top of it all…….It’s so much to have to acclimate to.  Taking on a completely different role than working outside the home, and realizing your worth, other than monetarily.  Before I became a mother, I had never planned to be a stay work at home mom, but then our first child came and I couldn’t bear the thought of leaving her with someone I didn’t even know, all day, everyday. It was the most heartbreaking feeling I had ever experienced, thus far.  After much deliberation and number crunching, my husband and I made the decision.  Things were going to be very tight, but doable, if it meant being with my baby, there’s no amount of money that could replace getting to be with my child.   There are times that being a stay work at home mom can be very thankless and lonely and I’ll be honest, coming from outside sales, its been really tough not bringing in “much” of an income. I realize its not about that, however.  It’s about something deeper.  Something that one day would become one of the largest impacts of my life.

It has challenged every bit of patience, comfort zone, mental and physical strength I have in my body and it’s true that as each phase happens, it also quickly passes. I’ll sometimes think, or even say that I just don’t think I can get up and do it all over the next day, and you know what?  I do, because I love my children so much that it hurts.  They need me, they rely on me, every, single day.

 

After 7 years of staying home with my children, I have become more confidant in my role.  I feel blessed to have this opportunity, and know that I will never, ever, regret it. My husband once told me that he views what I do, “as running a business” and that I was very successful at it.   Talk about getting bonus points! That is something that has stuck with me and I’ll never forget those words.

I know there are challenges with moms everywhere, whether they work outside the home or stay home with their children.  It’s just not easy, either way you look at it.  A dear friend once said to me that “I will never get that time back, and I can always go back to work later, and to enjoy the here and now”.  Now that my youngest is 3, I won’t say that I feel like I have it down pat, but I certainly will say that I am surviving, and my head’s above water, well today, at least. They can certainly send me to crazy town almost on a daily basis, but the deep love that I have for my children is the strongest bond in the world. Sometimes I’ll think about my life before children and the deep love that I hadn’t yet experienced.   Now having 3 children, I simply couldn’t imagine my life without them! I thank God that I’ve been given this opportunity to have this job.  Someone….. must think I am qualified!

I am slowly learning to appreciate the chaos and the noise, & not get too upset at the messes.  Far too soon will we experience a silent house, it seems so far off, but we’ll blink and it will be here, and my heart will be in a thousand pieces.  I understand the worry I have for them now, pales in comparison to when that day comes.  Are they safe?  Are they making the right decisions?  Are they happy?  Do they need me? I realize this is as safe as they’ll ever be, in our arms, within our reach.  For right now, I’m going to cherish the chaos, kiss them too much and hold them too long,  because I know as everyone has told me….”you’re going to miss this”

Becoming a mother instantly made me realize what feeling, people would often talk about as they comment “they’d take a bullet for their child and lay their own life on the line”.  I get it. I think any parent would say they’d do anything to keep their children safe.   My children make me feel like I am that superhero that can do it all, even when I’m feeling weak inside. Its rolling with the punches and being able to get back up, every single time.  Becoming a mother has humbled me, to my core. It’s made me human, and made me appreciate my own childhood.

There’s no more powerful moment in the world than when you hold your own child in your arms for the first time.  Whether that’s through adoption, surrogate, or your own birth.  That feeling inside you moves you to an extraordinary deep emotional level and you will never again be the same person you were before, because you’ll be a better person.  You’ll become that determined & invincible force that you realize your own mom was and still is. You’ll have more understanding and compassion knowing that she too went through what you’re going through.  All the emotions, struggles, & challenges, she went through them too, and there will be no better compliment in the world than when she’ll say “you…..are a wonderful mother”!Being a mom for some reason reminds me of the Paul Harvey speech “So God Made a Farmer”.  Here is how I imagine a mother’s rendition would read:

So God Made a Mother

And on the 8th day, God looked down on his planned paradise and said, “I need a caretaker.” So God made a mother.

God said, “I need somebody willing to get up throughout the night, nurse & change the baby, get little sleep, work all next day, attend the kids events, fix dinner and then clean up the kids for bed and the kitchen and stay up past midnight going over & prepping for what needs to be done the next day” So God made a mother.

“I need somebody with arms strong enough to carry groceries in one and a child in another, be strong enough to watch them leave 18 years later and yet gentle enough to wipe all their tears and kiss their boo boos. Somebody to discipline, make sure they have clothes to wear, run errands , do 3 things at once, & to take pictures of every special moment. Tame the kids from fighting with one another, and tell them that god is watching– and mean it.” So God made a mother.

God said, “I need somebody willing to sit up all night with a sick child. And help them throw up in the bucket. Then wipe their mouth and say, “I think I’m getting sick too” I need somebody who can feed, dress and get their kids off to school on time, take them all to the grocery store with her, who can plan birthday parties, buy christmas gifts for everyone and host a holiday dinner for 12. And who, by school time and summer break, will finish her forty-hour week by Tuesday noon, then, pain’n from cleaning the house and being climbed on all day,’ put in another seventy-two hours.” So God made a mother.

God had to have somebody compassionate enough to be there for their first heartbreak, spend their bonus check on a trip to Disneyland and yet stop and offer a hug to another mother whose hung her head in frustration and remind her that she’s doing a great job. So God made a mother.

God said, “I need somebody strong enough to stand up for her child who’s been bullied at school, or herself when she’s been harassed at work,  yet gentle enough to tame teenage tongues and potty train a toddler, and wipe her own tears and tell herself it’ll all be ok, one who will dance in the rain and squeal in laughter with her kids. It had to be somebody who’d work on letters and numbers and reading and not cut corners. One who would have the embarrassing & private talks with them and stand by their curfew, hold her children in her arms and sing them a lullaby,  yet bake cookies and say “yes” to when they ask to lick the bowl.  Somebody to teach kids how to play sports, cook , clean, have compassion & confidence, not to give into temptation, be independent, be true to who they are, teach them chores and color in the lines, ask for help but not give up, have common sense, tie their shoes, and reply to my daughter “yes you can do anything a boy can do” and finish a hard week’s work eating a big ice cream cone with sprinkles.

“Somebody who’d hold a family together with the soft strong bonds of love & forgiveness, who would laugh and then sigh, and then reply, with smiling eyes, when her daughter says she wants to spend her life ‘doing what mom does.’” So God made a mother.